Wednesday, May 26, 2010

What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine too

I came from a state that practice Adat Perpatih. Most people outside Negeri Sembilan are worried about this custom as we are the only state that practice matrelineal system where women are considered highly in the society.

Some people from outside the state are worried that when their son marrys a Negeri Sembilan girl, they will lose their wealth to us. But they don't understand that when their son marrys one of us, their son is being taken care off.

Let take my parent as an example. When my great-grandmother passed away, she left all her properties to her 3 grand daugthers. My great grandmother informed her grandchildren which properties belong to them and my great grand mother left the family home to my mom. My mom also inherit the family paddy field.

Meanwhile my father, who is from the neighboring kampung, did not get any property from his mother coz the law said that all properties will be inherit by the female members only. So what do you think he do? Tackle some rich lady to be his wife? Nope he didn't do that. What he did was he applied for a job with British Army and he got it. So he has a steady montly income eventhough he doesn't have a property.

So when my father married my mom, he didn't has anything with him except his job and his clothes. But he was accepted and loved by my great grandmother. He was made as head of the family and he is expected to take care of my mom and her properties and treat my mom properties as his.Yeah he did that but he has his job too. So most of the time, he left it to my mom to take care of the house and the paddy field but if my mom needs any money to fix the house, he will willingly give his money to my mom. In fact he renovated the house to make it bigger.

My dad is also smart. He doesn't rely on my mom properties alone. The current house that we grew up was bought by him using his own money. So what happened to our family home in Tanjong Ipoh? Well it is still there. It has been empty for quite sometimes and now my mom let her younger sister, who is a divorcee, to stay there. Did my father has any say on this eventhough he helped to repair and maintain the house. No he has no say at all just because it is not his house.

So can I say that "Whatever mine is mine, Whatever yours is mine and whatever mine is not yours" and indirectly I can translate that whatever money I earn is mine, whatever money he earns is mine too and whatever money I earn, he cannot touch. Oooohhh I love this.

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