Tuesday, July 28, 2015

At two junction

Gosh! It has been ages since I update anything. I have been busy playing with Wordpress that I neglected my first born baby here... Well, frankly speaking, I have not written anything in English for so long except for the emails that I have to respond in the office. Otherwise, I've been busy polishing my Bahasa, which I'm proud to say that I have improved compared to two years ago. That is a big change for me. However, I'm still struggling to respond an official email in Bahasa. Words didn't come that easily whenever I tried to write in Bahasa. Hopeless case! Hahahahaa..


Well, of late I have been thinking a lot, thinking about my future. Where I want to be not in few years time but next two months. Yup, my contract with 7E is going to end this October. To be more specific, it will end in mid-October. Not that they don't want me, but it was more of whether I want to continue with them.


Before I decided to come back from the semi-retirement, I was working on my pet project or sometimes, I called it Option B. I have been dreaming of this project since four years ago. Of having a bookstore and selling stationary, but over the years,  it changed. From stationary to cafe. So, for the past two years, I was working on the idea. Looking at the fund and the market and so on. Finally, I got the chances when I opted to accept the Maxis scheme. Off I went and happily putting the vision into the plan.


But... the vision, the dream was stopped by my sleeping partner. It took me about a year to convince him of this bookcafe concept. We started looking for the ideal location, and we found it and now we are ready to move to second gear. I also work on the timeline where it will be ready just in time when my contract expired.


The current project, which I'm currently involved is expected to complete by July, but lo and behold... the project got delayed. From July to October and now seems it will be delay further.


I scratched my head. I thought if the rollout takes place in July, the operation stabilization is expected for three months, then it is just nice for me to leave. But it doesn't look that way. Hmm... I can't be selfish and just pack and go. But my conscious mind tells me not to abandon my team. They are a young team. They need guidance, and they have been telling me not to go too. They wanted me to continue at least for another year.


At the other end, my pet project is taking shape. The idea that I conceive is slowly turning into a reality. The project is my new baby. I wanted to see it grow from an unknown to someone. I don't want to miss the steps, the fumble, and the push it going to make. I want to be there. To be together with my crew and to get the satisfaction of running my baby. It will give me the satisfaction.


In one hand, it is my responsibilities to my beloved team, while, on the other hand, it is my responsibilities to my own satisfaction and family. I have to think really hard about it and to decide the way to move forward. People might say, hire someone to run the business, but will I get the satisfaction? Maybe not.


So it is a tough decision for me. It is between my obligation to my team, my boss and my CIO versus my dream, my passions, and future... Whatever it is, I have him, the ALMIGHTY,  to seek for guidance. Insya Allah, I will able to make the decision soon. Meantime, I'll let my mind do the pro and con of continue to work or leave.

Until then.. goodnight.