Friday, February 25, 2011

I Don't Know....

I don't know why but I have been feeling something is missing from me lately. The things that I used to love to do is now becoming like a chore. I simply lost interest. 

Work is no more a joy. It becomes a routine to me. I find it mundane and not challenging anymore. I have been dragging myself to work lately. Is it a sign of old age? I don't know.... 

Reading is also no more a joy. It is not the story not interesting but the moment I opened up the book, my mind will be wandering somewhere else. I used to finish a book in two days but lately it took me a week. Is it a sign of old age? I don't know..

Watching tv used to be fun but lately sitting in front of tv is kind of miserable. It is full of depressing news. Maybe because of that I seldom sit down and watch tv. Is it a sign of old age? I don't know...

Is it my spiritual needs crying? I don't know. Have I neglected my spiritual needs? Don't think so. But I might need to spend more time to zikir and reading Quran. Is this the sign of old age? I don't know....but one thing I know for sure, reading Quran helps me to feel calm.

Is this a yearly feeling that i have to go through? I don't know but last year I did feel the same way. But will I get over it? Insya allah. 


  1. I'm wondering if the sadness over your father has finally caught up with you. Whatever it is, may you feel happy again soon.

  2. In my area, we get so little sun over the winter that our bodies cannot make enough Vitamin D to keep us healthy. People in the Pacific Northwest USA can begin to feel the way you describe - discontent, unhappy, listless. Our doctors have to prescribe supplements. If you continue to feel badly, it may be worth speaking to your family doctor. There may be a physical reason for your feelings.

  3. Lisa: I didn't cried when my dad passed away but had a total breakdown two weeks ago.

    Marcella: That's a good idea.

  4. Oh, hugs to you.

    That delay of grief is pretty common. When my dad died, my mother was away from home and had to take care of the business of getting him and herself home. She couldn't afford to let herself fall apart then, and as a result, she didn't cry for nearly two years. Then one day, she fell apart and cried for hours. You had a lot to do when your dad died. Perhaps you didn't have time to grieve properly.

    Marcella's advice is excellent, too. Things may be piling up on you, and a doctor might be able to help you get back in balance. Or a counselor could let you talk things through and help you cope. Please take care of yourself.