Happy Birthday...

Today is my father 81st birthday, but he left us in December last year.  We celebrated his birthday during Raya last year, but we could see that he was not feeling well.

In fact during Ramadan last year he complained that his stomach feel bloated, and he couldn’t eat much. The doctor diagnosed that he had a gastric, and asked him to cut on some of the spicy food and gassy drinks. But the doctor was wrong. It was not!

We going to miss him this Raya especially his famous 'Sup Tulang'. He would dragged mum to market, and buy ribs to make his special soup. He knew that his kids love his soup, and this year, we would still make it, but he won’t be there to eat it with us.

He didn’t go out much during last year Hari Raya. He only went to was my sister’s house, and my brother’s house in Bahau. I still remembered while we had fun, eating, drinking and singing, he just sat quietly in a corner watching us.

He didn’t eat much, and later he went to sit inside the car because he found it difficult to breath. We were worried with his condition. My sister, Zura, then took him back with her to KL, and sent him to see the specialist. That when we found out he didn't have a gastric, but  liver cancer. He further told her it was already at stage four.

He only lasted for four months, and during that four month whatever he wanted to eat, we tried to get it for him. At one time, he wanted to eat ‘asam katuk’.  My niece went all the way to Malacca to buy it, and later we found out it’s available in KL too.

Now he’s gone, every time we went out for dinner or lunch, we always think of him because he loved to eat. And when he was alive, my youngest sister, Zailin and Zura, would take him to all the places he wanted to go. He loved that very much,  and when he was in the hospital, my sister, Ami and Along Norlia, took care of him. This four women are angels.

Thank you to all my sisters for taking care of abah.

‘Ya Allah, ampuni dosa ayahku dan tempatkan lah dia di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Amin’  - Al fatihah.

Salam.

My mom, the Brave Lady.

I went to see my mom at the Putrajaya Hospital this evening. She had an operation on Saturday. Alhamdulillah, she is fine. Her recovery has been smooth so far and no major complication.

I called her before I leave the office, asking whether she needs anything, but she already asked my sister, Arda, to buy Nasi Lemak for her. The hospital has been giving her porridge, and she doesn’t like it. Doctor told her that there is no problem for her to consume rice. Aahh! Someone must have forgotten to order the right food for her.

When I reached there, my mom was in the bathroom. Hah! The first thing that caught my attention was the mango in the container. Whoa… without asking permission I just took it and started to eat. When my mom came out, I told her that I was hungry. Luckily the mango was sweet.

As we chatted, I asked my mom to show me her wound. Wow! A single long cut across her left breast, and it's healing nicely. There’s a small rubber hose attached to the left breast that drains the blood to the bottle.

When Arda and her husband arrived, they brought the Nasi Lemak and Mee Hoon Soup for mom and Musliha. The Nasi Lemak looked very nice, but mom only ate a little. Since I was still hungry, I took some and ate it, but what a turned off. The chicken was sweet and not to my liking.

As we sat down and chat, my mom told me that sometimes she felt my father was around. Whenever she closed her eye, she saw him sitting on the wheelchair, wearing his black shirt and kopiah. We were silent for a while.

Dad used to be at Ward 3A, and now, mom is at Ward 3B. Dad suffering was still fresh in our memory. My niece was very sad when she came to visit my mom, and she was not alone.

When I left, my sister and her husband were still there. Hmmm.. They will only leave the place when the guard chases them out. So, dear mak, don’t think of going back home yet. You just rest and relax there so that you can heal faster.

Sekian. Salam

A Great Day But Little Bit Sad!

Today, it just me, my mom and Musliha, my mom assistant. I took a day off today to send her to hospital but by the time I reached my sister’s house in Pantai Hill Park, she already made up her mind not to see the doctor.


We didn't do much in the morning. We just watched TV and chit chatting and we also discussed about her breast cancer. Actually mom went for an alternative treatment for her cancer and tomorrow she will be seeing her doctor to do further checkup on the growth. 

By 12 noon, I took her and Musliha to Mid Valley for lunch. We went to Chilis. I ordered Fajitas while both of them ordered Country Fried Chicken. I laughed when Musliha saw the food. The serving was big and being a tiny and skinny person, she worried that I will force her to finish the food. But I did not.


As we were enjoying our food, I felt sad because I remembered dad. Dad would love Chilis.  He was a good eater and loved all kind of food. He would have enjoyed the fried chicken and also the nachos.


After lunch, we went to MPH Bookstore and I bought few book and one of it was “Doctor in the House” by Dr. Mahatir. My husband was looking for this book earlier and it was out of stock. Since I knew that he wanted to this book, I grabbed a copy for his birthday’s present which is at the end of the month.


We did not stay long in Mid Valley because mom wanted to go back to Seremban. By 2pm we left Mid Valley to Seremban but on the way, we decided to stop at my house. The last time my mom came was when my house was still not fully furnished. She also wanted to meet her grandchildren. She met all her grandkids except Zaki who was in school.


We reached Seremban at 4.50pm and I felt something is missing. Usually my dad will be sitting in his favorite chair, watching tv while holding the remote. He will controlled the TV.


I went to my dad's room and my mom offered me to take few of his clothing. I almost cried when I touched his clothes. Neatly hanged and folded in the wardrobe. I decided to take two sarongs for my sons and few of his t-shirts. I'm not sure when mom's going to clear dad's thing. It will be painful but we have to do it. 


By 6.15pm, after saying goodbye to mom, I left for Bangi. I also pray that her appointment with the doctor will went well and she doesn’t need any operation. 


Sekian..Salam.

As I......

As I was on medical leave yesterday, I feel today like Monday. My brain was eager to start the day but my body was not ready

As I was getting reading to work, my hubby called and told me not to follow SILK Highway as it was jammed until the toll booth. He told me to take the alternative route which means I have to take Bangi exit to avoid the jam.

As I was sitting down having my breakfast, Zaki came to the kitchen. “Ibu, I’m hungry,” he said and I told him to sit while I get him the mini bun and milo for him. We had a nice breakfast together.

As I was about to leave for work, Zaki came and asked me to pray for him for his first term exam today. “Ibu always pray for you and others but you must also study. So go and do your revision after this,” I told him. He kissed me and waved me from the door.

As I was reaching Sg Besi Tol, I saw traffic was slow moving towards KL. To avoid the jam, I turned to KESAS Highway and then exit to MEX Highway before exiting back to KL-Seremban Highway. My quick thinking saved me and I reached office as usual.

As I was having lunch, I received SMS from my sister, Norlia. The message, “MOM operation will be on 2^nd April. Doctor said to remove all and no chemo needed. Only need to take medicine. Let’s do special prayer before the operation.” I replied, “Yes, let’s do it.” As you know, my mom was detected with breast cancer in September last year and after few months, the growth is getting bigger. As a result, doctor has advised her to do complete removal of her breast. Please prays for her.

As I reached home, the house was very quite. All four of them were upstairs. The moment they heard me, they rushed down, hugging and kissing me. All my tiredness and problems disappeared.

As I was writing this, three of them are already sleeping. The eldest is still  up doing his revision and preparing for his exam tomorrow and to you wherever you are, have a good day!

Sekian…salam.

A Quick Glance on 2010..

Wow! Another 6 more days and we will say goodbye to 2010. Are we ready to welcome 2011? Ready or not, we have no choice. It will comes and nobody can stop it except God.Well what have I achieved this year? Nothing much I guess. Let's see what I have achieved. 


Career wise, I have to say that I lost my steam this year. Used to be like Speedy Gonzales but this year, I feel more like I a tortoise. Slow and steady but still deliver. Guess age is catching up with me.


Health wise, not so good.  I took quite a number of medical leave compared to previous years. My knee and back problem are enough to slow me down. I have to be careful when doing my exercises or playing games. No more badminton or tennis or squash for me. Sob! Sob! Sob! 


Financial wise, just so so. Not so great and not so bad but my new house is taking a big bite from my saving but worth it. I don't know whether I can recover those money. Insyaallah boleh!


On personal front, I have achieved what I set in the beginning of the year except one thing, losing weight. That mission will be carried forward to 2011 and I really hope that I will achieve it. I need motivation and anybody want to join me? We can compare result. Oh another achievement, I will be moving to my dream house next week. Kids will have more space to run around and bigger place to clean up.


On the downside, I lost my dad this year and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The last two months of this year has been very challenging where I have to juggle between work, family and dad. Thank Allah for giving me the strength to go through the last two month and thanks to my friends who provided the support during the difficult period. No words can describe my gratitude.


Lastly, I wish everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Salam

The Day I Felt Numbed

I was happily drafting the letter and cross checking the contract and the issues when I received the following message from my sister "Mak test result positive cancer". I was stunned and slumped into my chair. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hand with images of my shrinking mom and my dad's bloated tummy playing around me. I'm a tough lady and seldom cry but I cried when I saw the message.

Gosh! It so hard to receive this second news. When my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer few weeks back, I was still able to take it.I know he will not live longer as his cancer is at advanced stage. I'm preparing myself to face the day I will lose him forever. We are already made plans how to make my father comfortable and who and when to visit him and cheer him up.

But when the second news came, it totally made me numbed. I feel helpless as I don't know what to do anymore. Having one is bad enough but having both parents down with cancer at the same time is really testing me. I really need to be strong to go through this challenging time.

Ya Allah! Give me the strength to go through this challenging time. Amin!!!